Words from my heart

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Stepping into unknown waters is always a scary process.

You don’t know the people around you, you don’t know the streets you’re driving on because you are in a completely different city.

You begin to feel a bit insecure.

 

You walk into situations where you don’t know how to play the game.

You’re vulnerable.

You’re the newbie.

 

The feelings of being uncomfortable begin to rise and the insecure thoughts about yourself begin to get loud.

Sometimes louder than expected.

 

Have you ever been placed in a position where you feel completely uncomfortable?

Where you feel like there is no substance to you and in who you are because everyone around you is great?

Everyone around you are legends and seem like they can conquer the world?

 

I’m there now.

I’m feeling all of those yucky feelings now.
I’m questioning what substance do I have for the place that God has placed me in now.

 

For about a couple of days I was only feeding myself with the words that were birthed out of my insecurity.

 

“Jenny, what the heck are you doing in this place full of people that are achievers, hard workers, and qualified?
What kind of substance are you bringing to this organization that is already freaking amazing?
Do you even have anything good to offer? ”

 

For about 3 days those where the words that I gave more weight and value to.

I drowned inside the pool of negativity and unhealthy perception of who I am.

I allowed my perception of myself in that moment take value away from who I was.

 

I added more weight to my words and the words of my parents about me and devalued the words that God had placed and marked me with since the day that he thought about creating me.

 

What voice has the greatest value in your life?

 

During the past month God opened an opportunity for me to be a part of a phenomenal church in North Carolina. This is where I am now.

What you do not know is the process of getting here.

The voices I gave great amount of weight and great value for my life did not see this opportunity as something great.

They simply saw it as another one of my adventures. they would have preferred me to go into a top business and begin to be a woman making a paycheck with six figures.

It made me see this opportunity as a common event in my life. Made me feel as though there was nothing special about it.

To go a little deeper they made me feel common.

Made me feel like if I had nothing special to offer in this new territory I am in.

 

I put more weight on the voices around me that are not ones to encourage me even when I feel like God is speaking to my heart.

 

I put honor in the voices that don’t understand the calling that is upon my life.

Here is something that I learned this week: honor means to put value and weight on something.

The opposite of honor is common and ordinary.

I honored the wrong voices in my life and God’s voice became common and ordinary to me.

That is why I began to find myself as common and ordinary because of who I found my identity in was becoming ordinary and common to me.

so I leave you with this!

 

What voice in your life are you honoring?

 

Is it your voice of insecurity?  Are you honoring your insecure words more than the words that God has declared over your life? Even the promises that He has declared that do not make any sense? For example the fact that, we are forgiven.

 

What picture are you hanging on your refrigerator?

 

Ladies: are you hanging the picture of you calling yourself unworthy, ugly, and useless. Or are you hanging the picture of God calling you fearfully and wonderfully made.

Men: Are you hanging the picture of you calling yourself a no good, prideful man, and saying that you will just be the spitting image of your alcoholic father. Or are you hanging up the picture of God calling you redeemed, strong, courageous, patient, kind, gentle, selfless, and His son.

 

Jesus, I pray for every single woman and man reading these words. May they learn to place you first in their lives, to honor your voice in their lives before anyone else. May they take your words over their lives and soar in freedom, grace, and security that You have called them for great things. They are more than capable and able to do with what they have now. We thank you Jesus. Above all we thank you. Amen.

XO, Jenny

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