I attend a Christian University, and this year, the “theme” or “word” for the year that the pastoral staff gave was “For This Purpose.”
Ultimately, we were prompted as a student body to answer 2 different questions:
Who are you purposed to be?
And what are you purposed to do?
I’m just going to be completely honest and say I did not understand this at first.
Let me elaborate.
This past year, the biggest challenge I faced was finding myself in a title.
I went through a whole season of realizing that the best name or position I can ever receive is being a daughter of God and a servant of God.
I had finally become content in this.
So then I return to school and suddenly I’m faced with the question of what I’m supposed to do for the rest of my life.
So many people around me have been called to be in full time ministry, to be pastors, to be missionaries, and it’s been the coolest thing to watch them embrace that throughout this year.
But in my head, I’m thinking,
“I just became not only content, but in love with the fact that I’m just supposed to be His. Can’t I just sit in that for a little longer?”
It made me think of my younger days as a young athlete. As a 4-year-old starting soccer, I would fight and kick and scream because I didn’t want my dad to drop me off. Subconsciously, I really did want to be there at practice. As soon as I got on the field and started to play, I would love it.
But initially, I just ready to let go of being out of daddy’s arms.
It’s the perfect picture of the season that I was in with God. I wanted to discover what my purpose was, I wanted to get out there and discover my calling. And as soon as I would take that step, I would love it. But I wasn’t just ready yet to leave the warmth and the intimacy of being completely wrapped up in my Father’s arms.
Fast forward an entire semester, I’ve completely avoided answering this reoccurring “purpose” question. But then, God interrupted, I had an opportunity to travel to Honduras and live at a home with teenage girls that have been rescued from Sex trafficking.
I was lying in a hammock outside reading a book called, Compelled by Love by Heidi Baker. She was explaining in the book that children are the key to Heaven.
They believe and trust with such innocence to the point that Jesus tells us if we humble ourselves like a child, we will enter the kingdom of heaven.
In front of me at that time was a 16-year-old girl who had a 3-year-old baby from rape. She had been playing in the dirt for over an hour. She was completely caught up and enthralled with the little ants climbing over the blades of grass.
It was in that moment…that raw, sweaty, and super un-glamorous moment…that I knew.
I knew that for the rest of my life, even if no one knew my name, where I was, or what I was doing, I was to be a voice for those who didn’t believe they have a voice.
Whether that was crying out to God on their behalf, or crying out to a lawyer on their behalf, I’ve been given a voice to speak up for others when they are unable to themselves.
One day when I stand before my King in Heaven, I would much rather Him say,
“You were way too caught in the things of Heaven”
“You were way too caught up in finding your place in the world.”
The definition of called is literally, “cry out to (someone) in order to summon them or attract their attention.”
God has called you, He is calling you, and He will continue to call you for the rest of your life, and there is nothing we can do to make Him relent.
If you’re reading this, and you don’t exactly know what your purpose is, let this small testimony of our big God be encouraging to you. What He has begun will indeed come to pass.
God was protecting me from being known by my calling before I was known as His daughter. There is so much freedom in the fact that we are children of God, and He desires to hold us before he sends us.