If there is one thing I’m good at, its comparison.
And as a result, I’m really good at asking God “why?”
“Why did you have to make me this way?”
“Why couldn’t you have made me like _________?”
You fill in the blank. We have all been there.
At the top of my list of insecurities is being an introvert. Being an introvert with extroverted friends is a struggle, and I mean a struggle. I prefer small group outings; they thrive off of inviting seemingly the whole school. And on top of that, I am an introvert with anxiety.
“Why couldn’t you make me more outgoing?”
“If I could just talk more, people would like me better.”
“If I just had (this) ability, I could do so much better.”
But here’s the thing.
God didn’t causally put me together. He didn’t think, “Great, I gotta make another one.” He didn’t grab random bottles off a shelf, put it in a bowl, mix, and nonchalantly make Moriah.
He thought about me.
He mulled over me.
He made me fearfully and wonderfully.
He made me with love.
He knew me intimately before I was born.
He made me with a detailed plan for my life.
And in my weaknesses, He is strong.
God is smart. He didn’t make a plan for my life and then not give me the ability to fulfill it. He has a good and perfect will for my life that I am perfectly made to fulfill.
I can’t fulfill His will for my life, until I stop comparing myself to others.
Until I start loving who He made me to be. Until I embrace the gifts, talents, and passions He specifically gave to me.
A Pastor once said that the richest and most talented place on earth is the grave. People have unpainted paintings that die with them; they have ideas and passions that die with them. God didn’t create us to die with the passions and talents He gave us still inside unused. He didn’t even create us to die with them only half used. He wants us to explode with them – to rob the grave.
But we can’t completely rob the grave until we grow to be confident in who God wove us together to be. He gave us a special combination of talents and passions to use for His Kingdom. He created us to be perfectly ourselves chasing after Christ wholeheartedly and without hesitation.
We have been called according to our purpose. Part of that calling is a confidence in that purpose and the One who created it.
Robbing the grave requires a faith and a confidence in who we are called to be. In who we are. In what God has placed in us. Until we embrace what we have been given with unyielding confidence, we cannot and will not fully rob the grave.
And I may not be completely there quite yet, but if there’s one thing I want to be really good at, it is embracing the uniqueness God gave me.