It’s hard to trust God.
If I were being honest I’m not sure I could tell you of a time where my first instinct was to trust Him.
If I had to write down all of my weaknesses, mistakes, and shortcomings they would all be centered around, what should be, the one fundamental piece of our lives as Jesus followers; trust.
Thank goodness that God’s trustworthiness isn’t dependent on our ability to trust Him.
During my time at college, I’ve had the incredible opportunity to travel to over 10 countries (if you include all of the connecting flights). I learned to love neck pillows, peanuts, ginger ale, and boarding passes.
There’s something special about preparing for take off and the long-awaited landing into a new place. They both evoke a strange combination of emotions.
Take off usually goes like this: excitement, anticipation, butterflies, and then… sleep. I can barely make it into the clouds before my eyelids take over.
Landing is different. It usually involves waking up from a lovely neck cramping nap as an impatient stewardess is telling me to fasten my seat belt and adjust my seat into the upright position. I look out the window and start to get a familiar feeling of joy and thankfulness as I we fly over the country that I have been praying for and preparing to visit for months.
Trusting should look like the praise and joy that comes during the landing.
But for me, trusting God usually looks a lot more like take off. It’s always exciting to accept a new challenge, answer a new call, and tell the world about the new places that God has called us too. Then all of the sudden something goes wrong. There’s no more money to keep funding the project, people stop talking about your big adventure around the world, or God forbid someone challenges the call that God has placed on your life with a few tough questions or doubt.
Trusting isn’t just stepping out of the boat, it’s keeping your eyes on Jesus and knowing that if you fall, His hand will be there to grab you.
Trusting means saying yes to the call over and over and over again.
If trusting was just a one time “yes” then Jesus would have never asked the disciples to leave everything and follow Him. It’s a daily decision that can’t be perfected in a moment of emotion and excitement.
Too many times we start to sink and even when Jesus puts His hand out to grab us we don’t accept the offer because it’s too hard, cost too much, takes too much time, or hurts too much to keep trusting Him.
If we messed up once, we’ve obviously failed Him so why try again, right?
I don’t know about you but in this season of my “post-college, leaving for the mission field, 21 almost 22 years old” life, I need to do a whole lot of loud self talk to drown out the voice of the enemy and the voice of my flesh.
I have to remind myself often that Jesus knew Peter would fall before he even stepped out of the boat.
He knows I will mess up. He knows what kind of background I come from. He knows that I am not qualified by the world’s standards, to do what He has called me to do. Yet, He still called me out.
He knows. Even though it’s hard, the fact the He knows is enough for me to put all that I am into trusting Him.
Trusting God is hard. But it’s the most adventurous, beautiful, butterflies in your belly, exciting thing you’ll ever do.
Don’t give up. Keep fundraising for that mission trip that seems to be impossible to fund. Keep praying for that friend of family member that doesn’t know Jesus.Keep loving and forgiving yourself of your past and go after the adventure that God has for you because He knows, and that’s more than enough.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding…” Proverbs 3:5