Let’s Talk About: Self-Pity by Jordan


Summer is the perfect time to take a moment to slow down and process the past year of school, social life, and other experiences. Life is so fast paced that we often don’t recognize what God is doing in the moment He is doing it, and we see it after the fact.


Unfortunately, this fast paced life allows for unhealthy things to go unnoticed and to linger longer than we believe that they do.


Looking back on the past semester of college, one thing that I can see in my own life that had authority in my heart and mind was self-pity.


Self-pity, by definition,

is the excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness over one’s own troubles.


Self-pity demonstrates an inward focus and a deep-rooted self-destructiveness.


Self-pity ruled my way of thinking, and was the filter through which I saw everything and everyone. When I would be left out of group events, weekend plans, or anything to do with social activities, I would automatically jump to the conclusion that everyone disliked me. I felt bad for myself, and told myself all of the reasons why I shouldn’t have been invited and why I would’ve been awful company.


The things I was pitying myself for were insecurities and lies I had made up all by myself.


Looking back now, having conquered that rough season of pity and insecurity, I can say that I know for a fact that my friends loved me dearly, and that they loved spending time with me. I made myself the victim, thinking that everything was about me and the way I felt.


As I look back on that season, I’ve discovered something:


Insecurity and pride go hand in hand.


What do I mean by this?


In order for us to be so focused on our insecurity that we feel bad for ourselves, we have to believe that the world revolves around us, and that everyone is just dying to keep us happy and included. It’s easy to assume that everyone notices your emotional state, but it’s just not reality to think that way.


Jesus even give His disciples some instruction on self-pity and insecurity. We see this in Matthew 16:24 when Jesus says,

“‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.’”


Don’t carry the weight of your self-pity anymore! Cast off that weight, pick up your cross, and walk humbly with your Father, knowing that He sees you and loves you in the deepest ways!


I believe that one of the most necessary things we can do in order to cast off self-pity, is to renew a spirit of humility within us.


We can renew this spirit of humility by checking our prospective to see just how big God is, and just how little our fear of missing out really is.


Romans 12:3 states,

“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.”

Don’t put yourself on an altar, and expect everyone to fall on their knees and worship you. Knock down the altar, pick up your cross, and love others as you would want to be loved.


Remember loves, God is intimately acquainted with you, and knows when your soul is downcast. Bring your sadness and your fears of inadequacy to Him, and let go of the self-pity that you have been holding onto so that you can live a life free to love others.


XO, Jordan

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