I believe that you can be successful and not fruitful. You can be busy and not productive. You can be serving and not sowing seeds.
You can be a mission trip going, church attending, theology studying Christian and not know God.
And this is scary.
My name is Corina, I have been a Christian my entire life, and I didn’t know God. If I am being completely honest, I was spending more time telling others about His love, His grace, and His freedom and I wasn’t experiencing it for myself.
Living in a Christian community and attending church on Sundays means I had a whole lot of factual knowledge about God. Not to mention the bible and theology classes that I took for my degree. I thought I knew God. Or at least enough to do what He called me to do.
Everything changed for me one night after asking a few mentors of mine for advice on my purpose.
“So how do I really know if God is calling me to do something?
What if I do the wrong thing?
What if God spoke to me and I miss it and I never do what I am called to do?”
These were normal questions that everyone around me was asking. These were questions that I had spent hours praying about, asking the Lord to make sure that I was doing EXACTLY what He created me to do. I told Him that I wouldn’t do anything unless He called me to do it. I even said that I would sacrifice everything I had to do something great for Him.
You know the whole,
“break my heart for what breaks yours Jesus! All I am is yours!” prayer. Yeah, I prayed it.
At this point in my life I was starting my final year of college, I was approved to be a real life missionary which was what I had dreamed of since freshman year. Still, I wasn’t satisfied. I was asking God to use me for more and to give me bigger dreams.
I feared that if I wasn’t doing something that made me sacrifice everything and required every waking moment of my day, I was doing something wrong.
I sat on that couch that night with my mentors and after I finished drilling them with questions about what God wanted for my life, the Husband of the couple responded.
And I wasn’t expecting the response I received.
“Corina, maybe God is trying to remove the lust out of your heart to do great things, have a platform, and reach millions. Maybe He just wants you to know Him.”
I was shocked to say the least. I left that night, got in my car, put the key in, turned on the most dramatic worship song I could find, and I cried.
Alot. (Like the nasty snot on your face cry.)
For the first time in my life, I realized that I was being pursued by a God who wanted absolutely nothing from me, except that I know Him.
When you get to know God you learn that His love is aggressive, offensive, and overwhelming to everything you think you know about Him and about who you are. It changes the way you see, hear, and speak.
His Love changes everything.
I have so much more that I would love to share with you. This story and this adventure with the God who loves me is just getting started. But for now, I want to encourage you to be loved. Drop everything and ask God to show you what He really wants from you. It won’t be a just calling, a purpose, or a plan, but instead an invitation to sit with Him, know Him, and to be loved by Him.
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.” 1 John 4:7